Simply Thriving

Today the sky was born grey. Since the moment the grey lightened, the sky has dripped or drizzled or dumped an innumerable number of drops. Grey is kind of depressing, really – almost a heavy color. But today – today it brought out all of the beautiful. I’ve been relating to grey frequently of late. The feeling of waking up “heavy” is a common one. But the grey of circumstance is exposing and developing a whole lot of beautiful in the meantime. What has God, through the grey, birthed in my life? ~ A deep craving/desire/need to be in the Word. ~ A richer marriage. ~ A growing appreciation of rest. ~ A new beauty in the strength of friendship. ~ A developing ability to recognize true joy when it manifests. These “growths” lead me to Ecclesiastes: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 The next verses go on to list the things that there are times and seasons for, but I love coming back in ...

This week I had a wakeup call. I’ve been wallowing in bitterness. It started out as walking occasionally, gingerly through a murky puddle of it. Over time, however, the puddle grew and each trip through the (now lake) I stayed a little longer. At some point I waded out too deep. It felt good. Truly, there has been a LOT to be bitter about: ~The sweet babies that I can’t conceive or carry to term. ~The beloved sister that has cancer. ~The broken relationship that time won’t heal. There has also been much to be thankful for, but the longer that I swam in the (now ocean) of bitterness, the less appealing land looked. I’ve just wanted to be miserable. It felt right. It feels right. Cue the wakeup call. I was on the phone with that beloved sister when she pointed out that I was getting lost in that ocean of bitterness – that yes, it was well deserved bitterness, but that it was me that would be enveloped by it in the end. That’s when I realized that I haven’t ...

Mother’s day – one of the most broken days of the year for many of us for many different reasons. This year has been exceptionally hard as I’ve miscarried three times since last Mother’s day. Grief is a funny thing. God has blessed me with four beautiful children to love, cuddle and laugh with (and I’m incredibly thankful for each of them), but the five that he chose to take from me weigh heavy on this mama’s heart. If you too are grieving today, I’m so sorry. There is sweet comfort in knowing that God has our little ones with him – but today, more than most days, is bittersweet. God has been using this and my past to draw me in closer to him in the past weeks. Maybe you won’t relate to this post in the same way, but I’m sure that there is something in most of us that we wrestle with on this day. Here’s my “something”: As adopted people, we go through life carrying with us the knowledge that from the moment of our discovery, we were unwanted. Our mothers did not cry tears of...

Since my earliest memory, I have carried around the feeling of not being loved. (It’s probably a side-effect of having been adopted.) As a little girl, I was fiercely jealous of anyone that I thought my parent’s loved more than me. As an adult, I sometimes fall asleep crying, resenting the invisible wall that keeps me from knowing the love of my husband, my kids, my friends and, most importantly, my God. It’s incredible frustrating – hearing and knowing logically that you are loved, but struggling to rest in it; never fully believing that anyone (God most of all) could love someone with as little to offer as me. It may sound pathetic…..unless you’ve lived the battle yourself. Yesterday, I was thinking about plants (yay spring) and roots and fruit-bearing and how they parallel with life. Naturally, I turned to Ephesians 3. Here is what I read: For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the rich...

How do you approach time spent in the Word and in prayer? I am ashamed to admit that I often view it as a necessary item on my to-do list for the day rather than the joy that it is. Just last week I started a diet in the hopes of setting a good example for my kids and hopefully getting healthy enough to, Lord-willing, have one more baby. One thing has struck me hard. Throughout the day, not indulging in goodies hasn't been too difficult – until I’m stressed. As soon as the kids are talking back to me or (in today’s instance) squeezing toothpaste in swirls all over the bathroom counter; as soon as Josh and I have a disagreement; as soon as I snap at someone and feel instantly guilty or as soon as I feel downright overwhelmed by the task at hand – the temptation to give in and eat a treat is almost unbearable. If I could just eat a chocolate bar, or drink a can of pop or munch on a muffin – surely I would feel better! Surely the happiness from that cookie would give me t...

As a child, did you ever go the beach? After some time in the water, maybe you got your little bucket and started to build a sand castle. The sand near the water was the most wet and perfect for keeping the bucket shape. Bucket by bucket, the castle began to take a shape. After an hour or two, it was a masterpiece complete with twig flags and a moat. There is a problem with having to build so close to the water’s edge though. Every now and then (and sometimes not until the end) waves splash up oh so close and pull some of that beautiful castle back into the sea with them. What once was a perfect masterpiece is now missing the entire left wing! And can you stop that wave from reaching the castle? No! Even if you laid your little body between, some water would still get through. Now, this may be a silly little analogy, but it’s been on my heart a lot lately. In my pondering, my life is my sandcastle. Perfect no, but pretty well put together all things considered. And God? God is...

6:20am – My four year old is shouting in his unnaturally loud voice that he is awake. 6:22am – I go into his room, turn off the light and try to convince him that it’s not morning yet. 6:24am – He’s not buying it. The light is back on and he SHOUTS that he needs to pee. 6:25am – He keeps shouting because Daddy is in the bathroom getting ready for work. 6:26am – My five year old is awake and crying because of all of the shouting and bright lights. 6:27am – Now they both need to pee and are crying/shouting it at their door. 6:28am – The two year old is awake and crying too. 6:30am – I’ve only been awake for ten minutes but am now shouting as well for quiet, which is ironic. And the day begins. There is no oatmeal. How did it get missed on the shopping list? There is also no cereal, which means we will eat peanut butter and jam sandwiches. This is met with great consternation. The balance of life seems to be upset as PB&J is usually lunch fare. There is not enou...

It was a still afternoon, peaceful really. Sunny, at a pleasant twenty two degrees Celsius, it was the perfect afternoon to lie on the beach and work on a tan. Perfect, unless your name was Tony Stark. To Stark, the sun seemed a heartless predator; the sea a haughty tease. Asserting just enough willpower to pull his mind away from the now dull ache of his broken ribs and the hundreds of tiny cuts on his arms and thighs, he tried to remember how he had ended up in this position. Twenty four hours earlier he had met with Nick Fury to discuss an unfortunate development in the Middle East. In Ramla, Israel there was a warehouse storing Stark’s newest invention: Aerocarapace – cutting edge armor that he had been developing for S.H.I.E.L.D. Aerocarapace was strong enough to protect a person from anything short of a nuclear attack, yet small enough to be embedded in the skin in five anchor points around the body. To make it even easier to use, Stark had developed an oral trigger disg...

Just one glace at today’s headlines and the weight of all that’s happening in the world is so heavy: Another little boy dies in Fort McMurray from insecticide poisoning. Leaders meet today on missing and murdered aboriginal women. Sexual assault cases are in progress. A school bus driver is killed. ISIS militants destroy artifacts in Iraq. One hundred Assyrian Christians were captured by ISIS this week. Will WWIII break out as a result? After all of that there is still the everyday weight of our lives. Children who rail against truth, obedience and love. The long, sleepless nights that come with a newborn and threaten to wear down our last smidgen of sanity. More work than there are hours in the day for. Less work than there are hours in the day for. Less money than the month’s bills require. The friend who is battling severe depression. The friend who has cut themselves off from the church family. Family members who have lost all love for each ot...

I absolutely love driving out in the country. Day, night, stormy or clear, the scenery is breathtaking. This past weekend, a dear friend and I made a whirlwind trip up north and got our fill of stunning, natural spectacles in the process.   As we headed back home, night had fallen. The sky was perfectly clear and splashed upon it were millions of lights. We pulled the car off of the highway and down a quiet dirt road to get a better look. Drinking in the sweet smell of the woods in the near spring, we craned our necks, gazing in wonder at the stars and picking out the constellations that we recognized. How small we were in the grand display of God’s splendor that night. Walking back to the car, what caught our eyes but the winsome delicacy of newly budded pussy willows? And there he was again; His glory in the tiny bud that knows, somehow, when it is safe to open. Still filled with the wonder of the previous sky scape, we came to the top of the last hill befo...

It’s incredible to me that children will do anything for a reward. It can be something as small as a candy for picking up their things quickly. Other times it’s a quarter for “babysitting” while I take a shower or while I make a phone call. A few times, as a reward for cleaning their rooms properly, they have been able to have a friend over for the night. Occasionally, when they have been extra helpful, the reward is a date alone with Mommy for hot chocolate or ice cream. My son just finished potty training and the only thing that motivated him to carry on was his giant sticker chart and consequent prize box.   As adults, aren't we similar? The reward for finishing the mountain of dishes is sitting down with a coffee for fifteen minutes. The reward for losing twenty pounds (I wish!!) is a new pair of jeans. The reward for getting the kids tucked into bed is an evening with my hubby, a movie or a good book. On and on it goes. I’m sure you can think of rewards ranging from a cov...