This past weekend, my family and I went to a reunion. We
were only gone for two and a half days, but when we came in the door to our
house we were hit with a HUGE stink.
All of the windows had been closed and locked while we
were away and it had been HOT. We were all holding our noses and running around
trying to figure out what the smell was when, all at once, my hubby said, “The
fish!”
Sure enough, the fish were dead - All 15 of them.
Isaac and Aiden had dumped four containers of fish food in to the tank and all over the basement floor. (Probably
thinking that would keep the “fishies” from being hungry while we were gone.)
Most likely they died on the first night and floated
around in the tank for the next two days because they were bloated and white and the
tank (it’s a big one) reeked of death and rot. On top of the smell, the water was cloudy, greasy and
rank.
Growing up on the farm, you see/smell a lot of gross
things, but this one was far and above any terrible smell that I have
encountered on the farm or otherwise!
Because the house had been sealed up tight, there was a
thick, humid, reeking air that opening windows did very little for.
After putting the kids to bed, we started the hours long
process of cleaning out the tank. (Josh is my hero by the way. I can’t imagine
sticking your hands in that) I sat nearby with Chloe for moral support (and
gagging noises).
We didn't really think that it could get worse, but once
Josh started removing layers of water and rinsing out the filters, the smell
went to a whole, new level. No more “funny” gagging. This was the real thing.
Slimy, smelly, impossibly repulsive rot.
Which got me thinking…
About me. And about sin.
How often do I brush aside conviction about sin in my
life? You know how it is: I shouldn't say
anything about her. That’s “almost” like gossip. (And…..then I say it
anyway) Or, We should probably turn this movie off, but it’s just so funny. (And……I
keep watching) Or, I should do something
about this bitterness in my heart, but I've been wronged so I’m totally justified.
Really I’m just sad…. (And…..I keep wallowing)
On and on. It’s no big deal. I’m not actually slandering
or hurting anyone to their face. I’m not stealing or cheating or lying or any
of those BIG sins. I know sin is bad, but the sins that I commit are such
harmless ones.
But, as Josh worked away on the tank and we gagged on the
repulsive smell, it hit me that my sin is just as disgusting as the dead fish
rot. (Far more so, actually)
Every time I exaggerate or judge, every time I’m short
with Josh and the kids, every time I hold something against a friend or family
member (even if I never tell another soul about it), another dead, bloated fish
pops up in my heart.
There is no sin that is inconsequential. That can be
taken lightly. That is laughable.
Josh spent hours on that annoying tank, not to
mention me cleaning the floors and furniture as well. We opened windows, got new
carbon for the filter, switched out the water a bunch of times….and it does
smell better. Just a little fishy now, but not stomach turning. A definite
improvement.
But, the convicting and, at the same time, exciting
lesson that I learned from this whole experience is that A.) my sin is a big, gross deal and I need to
STOP taking it lightly and B.) Christ took that repulsive, gag-inducing sin
upon HIMSELF!!!
He has washed me and “cleansed me from all
unrighteousness”(1 John 1:9).
It’s not like the fish tank that we did a pretty good job
of cleaning… When Jesus cleans us, we are brand new!
Here’s a verse that I've been pondering in all of this:
Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to your steadfast love;
According to your abundant mercy
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
Psalm 51:1-4
He has, and He will!
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