Have you ever had an idea - a brilliant, creative or thoughtful idea that seemed both perfect and timely? Have you ever told that idea to one other person before you had the chance to act on it and the next thing you know it's in motion, but not in your name? There you stand on the sidelines, watching as everyone celebrates your idea and as that one person you shared it with seems to have forgotten where it originated from. It's pretty miserable. I know. It happens to me often!
Have you ever rolled out of bed in the morning with no desire to get your kids up, dressed and fed? Is the last thing that you want to do to wash another sink full of dishes that you didn't dirty or to drop everything to take your son to the toilet for the thirteenth time or to spend hours on another supper that will be gobbled up in minutes or to wrangle (what feels like) a million kids down the aisles of the grocery store?
Do you have someone in your life who rubs you the wrong way? Maybe they clearly dislike you. Or perhaps nothing that you do pleases them. It could even be the case that they seem to need you all of the time, but have no interest in you, personally. Whatever it is, the thought of losing it and screaming in their face for no reason has crossed your mind on a “few” occasions.
I've got to be honest. These are the sorts of things that have been making me bitter of late. I seethe with anger at the person why hijacked my ideas. Tears well up and flow at the thought of the person who I just can’t please. At times I stay home from events or don’t answer my phone, afraid that I won’t be able to keep it together for another encounter. In my exhaustion, I grow more and more frustrated with the daily “home” moments that should be special between my family and I. It’s a mess. Life is a mess. (And the more “me-focused” I am, the greater the mound of mess becomes.)
As conviction has been growing about these heart issues, I recently read this passage:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)Do nothing: Ok, so stop before acting and take account of my motives.
From selfish ambition: This is a tricky one. For me, it’s not only the obvious selfish ambition of doing things that promote myself or make me happy, but also checking to see that my heart isn't wallowing in self-pity while my actions are busy “serving”.
Or vain conceit: Let’s be honest. We all think that we’re pretty great! Oh, it’s subtle sometimes, but it’s there – usually, for me, in my thoughts. “Surely God must be proud of me for holding my tongue when no one else here is.” “I’m so self-sacrificing, living this life when I could be off doing grand things.” “I wonder if anyone noticed how patient I was today.” It’s all vain conceit and puffed up self-loving.
It’s this next part which has been rolling over me these past days, quietly redeeming my thoughts:
But in humility count others more significant than yourselves: Wow! I know how to put others first. I even know how to sacrifice for them. But, what I don’t know (and am blown away by) is how to count (to actually see) others as more significant - more important, of more value – than myself.
This is partially because of my selfish human nature and partially because I was born into a world that rejects this idea passionately. Every commercial, book, coffee cup, therapist and song reminds me, daily, of just how important it is to take care of myself – to put all of the negative things and people out of my life. I need to expect and demand positive, self-promoting friends and family. If they don’t fit the bill, it’s good and necessary for me to find new ones. I need to make life choices that will not let any darkness in and will build “me” up.
As Christians, we know in our heads that this is anti-truth. The Bible teaches just the opposite. Still, it’s easy to slip into this mindset in little ways. I know firsthand! I’m the one who has been wallowing in bitterness at the lack of appreciation, respect and love that I feel I should be getting.
But…Good news! The solution is right there in Philippians! “In humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Why? Because that is precisely what Christ did for you!
“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Philippians 2:5-8
Christ Jesus, who is the very God himself, humbled himself to the point of taking our form and sacrificing his own life to redeem ours. We have great value, but it is in no earth bound merit of our own. Instead, it is found completely in his redemption of us. Isn't that beautiful?
As Christians, we are called to follow his example – to humble ourselves and, in so doing, to count others as greater than ourselves.
How does this play out everyday?
For me (for a start), it means that in my heart, I choose to see my children as greater than myself. Yes, they are small, noisy and generally ungrateful; but, they are also made in the image of God and have been placed in my life for me to serve joyfully. When I see them as having great value and significance as God’s creation, it becomes a delight to serve them. I begin to see them again as the great treasures that God entrusted to me. (Please don’t misunderstand me. I have more days of bitterness than of grace. This process is just beginning in my heart, but what a difference it makes when I stop before reacting and choose to look at them as more significant than myself. Incredibly beautiful are the moments that are not simply about my own level of comfort, but about the growth of their little hearts!)
How does this affect “that” person who I bitterly endure? Suddenly, it’s not such burden to encounter them. They have great value to God! When I choose to see that value, their words and actions roll off instead of hooking on to my emotions. There have been a few occasions, recently, where I have prayed for God to help me see certain people as more significant than myself before getting together with them, and he has done just that.
And those ideas that seemed so valuable? My value is in Christ! He knows. That is enough. (I’m still very far away on this one, but I know the truth and pray constantly for the grace to meet the need of the moment.)
This isn't an easy road, but it’s the one that God has called us to and that is what makes it possible.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)
This passage is not just a great idea or a suggestion to improve our lives. It is a command – a call to obedience. It is part of God’s design for unity and harmony in our family – the church.
I am discovering that truly seeing and counting others as more significant than myself is far more freeing than fighting for my own importance has ever been. I think that is because, while it sounds nuts in this age, it is what God has required of us as his followers. Obedience brings peace.
Furthermore, Christ’s sacrifice was stunningly beautiful and ours is a small, but beautiful reflection of his.
I encourage you today (and please pray for me to do the same) to start your day with this mindset in you that was also in Christ Jesus! Let’s see the great value in others and choose to humble ourselves in his example.
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Thinking of you on this journey today!