A Rather Late 2020 Christmas Letter

 
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.”
 
This is how I began 2020 - in the valley of the shadow of my sister’s death, still reeling from the fresh wound of grief. Little did I know that the entire world would soon be thrown into that shadow as well. For most of us, this has been a year of some level of loss; of heaviness; of isolation; of feeling stretched like butter over too much bread, as Bilbo Baggins would say. There is less sun in the valley - less perspective - while mountains of grief, fear and doubt loom high. This year, more than ever, these words of the Psalmist resonate with me.
 
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, You are on my side.”
 
I wonder how many of us have put our faith in the coming of a new year, hoping that kissing 2020 goodbye will mean a way out of this valley. As December drew to a close, I’ve been pondering what would happen to my faith if this is our new reality. What if illness doesn’t go away? What if we never move to a bigger home, never live close to Josh’s family again, never have birthday parties, never sing unfettered in church and never get to those cancelled trips to Nova Scotia and New York? I’ve hung the hat of my potential happiness on so many of these things.
 
John Piper says that loving, desiring and delighting in anything more than you love, desire and delight in God is an act of treason for the believer. These are sobering words - at a glance, off-putting. But upon closer inspection, I find them to be life-giving. Why? Because…
 
“Surely goodness, surely mercy right beside me all my days.”
 
There in the valley, at the side of the sickbed, through the recent isolation, I have discovered I’m not alone. Not only that, but God has used such tender mercy in his dealings with me. I’ve wanted to rail at Him, to prove that He isn’t faithful – isn’t really good. But, I cannot...even in a 2020 year. I’d like to put it into my own words, but Piper says this best too: “There are seasons of pain and loss and grief and darkness when nothing is worth asking for but God. Everything else seems trivial, even life. That's why David said, "Because your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise you (Psalm 63:3)."
 
“And I will dwell in your house forever and bless your holy name.”
 
If 2021 isn’t a game changer, if the Covid reality is the new reality; one thing has not changed. There is God, the fullness of goodness and mercy, on our side, right beside us all of our days. We are not alone. He is the light piercing the darkness. His love is better even than life.  In his presence is unshakeable joy. Doesn’t that make you just want to shout his praises?!
 
My New Year’s wish for you is that you may discover and delight in the God who is right there by your side. I hope that together we can press into him come what may, and testify to his faithfulness at the start of 2022. I pray that if you don’t know this peace – this Savior by your side – you will surrender to him this year. And, I do sincerely hope that we can drink a coffee together again one day soon.
 
Much Love and a Happy New Year,
 
Lacie, for all us Jahnkes.
 

 
Here comes the family part for those of you who like the yearly update:
 
What’s new with you?
 
Emily – is almost a teenager, started attending youth group, bought two cute bunnies, started homeschooling grade 7, began piano lessons, missed the LYC choir, spent a week watching her siblings with cousin Lena, expanded her baking and sewing skills, started babysitting, was her mom’s right hand and spent as much time with friends as Covid restrictions allowed.

Aiden – started homeschooling grade 6, finally got to play Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, started violin lessons, discovered his love of sketching, finished reading LOTR and the Hobbit, discovered his love of rock hounding, expanded his swimming skills, enjoyed kid’s club, dazzled his mom with his poetry skills and hopes to read the entire Bible this year.
 

Isaac – continued to train for his lifelong dream of competing on Ninja Warrior, enjoyed having his cousin’s Jude and Lily come to visit this summer, learned how to swim without a life jacket, began piano lessons, took over early mornings with his little brother, started homeschooling grade 4 and wished that Covid didn’t keep him from playing all of the sports his heart desired.

Chloe – started homeschooling grade 2, joined the LYC choir and is waiting eagerly for it to start up again, began piano lessons, loves crafting, spent as much time with our neighbors the VKs as she could squeeze in, loved having Papa and Emmy visit this summer, joined kids club when Covid allowed and can’t wait to see friends more often.
 

Ginny – started preschool and knows most of her letters and numbers, loves to paint with watercolors, loves to do dishes when she is allowed, wants to go to the lake every day, broke her finger, loved when Auntie Renee and Auntie Bessie came to visit and often asks, wistfully, if they are coming on the airplane today, thinks masks are annoying and loves Paw Patrol (cringe).

Hudson – is as crash/bang as you would expect an almost two year old to be, loves treats and excels at finding them, lives to be outdoors, bosses the dog around, loves Daddy most of all, is growing in verbal communication, is an early bird and has recently discovered how much fun playing with toy cars is.

 
Josh – has been blessed with a constant mountain of work, has had steady work and good health through all of the various lockdowns, has learned a number of new board games thanks to all of the extra time this year, was happy to have many visits from family this summer, started making cool mug racks before work got so busy and has loved not having lots of social engagements.
 
Lacie – started homeschooling five of the kids and waffles between loving the extra time with them/ the freedom for creativity and going bonkers/wondering daily if she’s “doing it right”, enjoyed two wonderful getaways with Josh, has struggled with some old mental health battles, has loved her book club and the many books read this year, delighted in many a nature walk during the changing seasons, has experienced the richness of friendship both near and via zoom and has loved the need to be more creative thanks to Covid.
 
That’s us! Hope this finds you well.

ps. In the first half of the letter, all of the italics referenced Shane and Shane's beautiful version of Psalm 23.