Have you noticed how we seem to compare absolutely
everything and are not satisfied until we feel that we’ve done a better job at
some aspect of life than the next person? Oh, maybe we don’t say it outright,
but that seems to be the goal. Has it always been this way? In ancient days, were
ladies comparing things like how finely they ground their grain or how well they
milked their goats? It’s possible. I’m guessing that this obsession with validation
has reached its zenith in the 21st century though. Maybe, in part,
it’s a result of social media allowing us to project, tally up and compare all
of our deeds. Whatever the case, in my experience, it goes like this…
Oh, you are great at that one thing? Well:
My kids are better mannered. My house is cleaner. I’m
more real about my struggles. My schedule is more spontaneous. I grow my own
vegetables. I can afford to take my kids on great vacations. We do daily
devotions. I’ve dieted successfully. I fill my pantry with canning. I buy
sustainable products. I have a job and
run a household. I’m a thrifty shopper. I run community programs. On and on we
go.
Instead of celebrating each other or simply being content,
the trend seems to be to validate ourselves by comparing our strengths to
another’s weaknesses. I am so guilty of this.
Even in my own home it can feel like a daily, “I changed
more diapers than you”, “Well, I bathed the kids myself again”, “Oh ya? I’ve
made lunches every day for the past week”, “I had to get up early for work”, “I
got up three times in the night with the baby” tally. As anyone with kids can
attest, this only leads to more trouble and greater dissatisfaction.
Rather than celebrating each other’s successes with work,
home, and relationships, we compare, compare, compare. Naturally, this leaves
us feeling inadequate. That inadequacy leads us to more scrambling to remind
ourselves of something great that we have or have done. Round and round the miserable
merry-go-round we go.
In all of this, my question is: if our worth is tied up
in our strengths and accomplishments, what happens when it all comes to a
screeching halt?
What happens when an accident or illness stops us in our
tracks?
Here I am, sitting in my quiet bedroom, forced to be a
receiver only.
Though I want to, I can’t cook, clean, drive my kids to
school or playgroup, save money on groceries, change all of the diapers or free
up my husband to find work…..nothing. Everything that I would usually fill my
days with, that I would typically find my value in, has stopped. I dabble here
and there, but for such short periods that my usefulness is in question.
The things that make me “me”, that fill my societal
niche, I’m incapable of doing.
This won’t last for forever, but while I’m sitting here,
I’m forced to consider.
What’s left?
Where is my value during this time of inactivity?
The bible is a glorious dichotomy. We are encouraged to
do good works while being reminded that we have no goodness of our own. This makes me think that it’s not only about
“what” you are doing, but also about “why” you are doing it and “who” you are
doing it for. Take these passages, for example (emphasis added):
“In the same way, let your light shine
before others, so that they may see your
good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” ~Matt 5:16
“Do not neglect to do good and to share what
you have, for such sacrifices are
pleasing unto God.” ~Hebrews 13:16
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Jesus Christ.”
~Colossians 3:23-24
Perhaps, instead of comparing our good deeds to each
other’s, we need to start viewing them as sacrifices to God. What an incredible
purpose it is to be in daily service of the Lord!
Perhaps, instead of comparing our goodness to the next
person’s, we need to consider only the goodness of God – whose mercy it was
that saved us and made us his children.
Perhaps, instead of tallying up our strengths, we need to
consider that without Christ, all of our strengths are no better than filthy
rags, that we all fall short of the glory of God on our own (Isaiah 64; Romans
3).
I love this passage from Titus:
But, when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he
saved us, not because of works done
by us in righteousness, but according to his
own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,
whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being
justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal
life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so
that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good
works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. But avoid foolish
controversies, genealogies, dissension, and quarrels about the law, for they are
unprofitable and worthless. ~Titus 3:4-9 (emphasis added)
For me, I know that it’s time to get off of this comparison
merry-go-round and turn my eyes upward. The truth is that the ONLY goodness that
I have is Christ in me. The only reason that I wake up each morning is because God
chooses to give me another breath. The only way that I can serve my family with
joy is by seeing the service as pleasing to God. The only worth that I have,
when everything else is stripped away, comes from my salvation. Instead of
grasping at validation in my strengths and accomplishments, I want to simply
rest in the knowledge that Christ is in me, the hope of glory – that he is
equipping me to do the works that he has prepared in advance for me to do.
Maybe I will never be as great as the next person at a certain thing. That’s ok. I want to be content to do the tasks that God puts in front of me, with joy and thankfulness, and to encourage my friends to do the same.
Maybe I will never be as great as the next person at a certain thing. That’s ok. I want to be content to do the tasks that God puts in front of me, with joy and thankfulness, and to encourage my friends to do the same.
If we, as believers, viewed our days this way, can you
imagine what happy people we would be?
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope
without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to
stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as
is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see
the Day approaching.” ~Hebrews 10:23-25
Comments